Polygon

But Risen 2 always redeems itself with the little things about the pirate fantasy it nails. What other game lets you learn a skill called "'Nuff Said" that allows you to end the occasional conversation by pulling a pistol on your co-converser and sending them to Davy Jones' Locker? And listen, just between you and me ... you can get an attack parrot and a monkey that steals stuff.

Trials Evolution is so finely honed that it should be appreciated by a massive swath of people, from hardcore 2D platforming fans to racing fans to editor junkies to, well, douches who like rap/rock remixes and Ed Hardy tees. It's hard to imagine someone not being taken in within the first few moments, only to find themselves at 3am, testing the limits of human concentration by nailing a perfect run on a 20-minute long map. Yes, that was me last night.

Playing Legend of Grimrock forced me to be honest with myself about those old-school experiences. For as many fond memories as I have, I wasn't able to return to the quirks and frustrations of this genre without flinching. I believe there's a space for Grimrock's style of uncompromising dungeon diving, but it's going to require a bit more finesse to operate beyond the realms of nostalgia.

But theatrics are about the only thing Diabolical Pitch has going for it. It's a mechanically flawed game that takes two hours to beat — though it's going to feel like it takes much, much longer. Inspired though its stylistic inspirations may be, Diabolical Pitch feels like it was designed by someone who had never played a Kinect game before.

For its few successes and plentiful failures, there is one perfect thing about Kinect Star Wars, and that’s the name. Maybe that would have been enough for 12-year-old me, it’s hard to say. But only one of us is a game critic. This is "Kinect" and "Star Wars," and absolutely nothing more.

Licensed games get a bad rap, but South Park: Tenorman's Revenge fails in ways far beyond the average cash-in. While some players might leap at the chance to spend upwards of 13 hours slogging through the main game by themselves, and rabid South Park fans might be able to muster some excitement at the prospect of riding on the Poo-Choo Express, everyone else should steer clear.

And there have been so many next times. I cannot stop diving back into Kid Icarus: Uprising's levels, pushing the intensity to irresponsible extremes to bolster my haul. It's partially because of my own need to attain statistical perfection in games that allow me to do so. More than that, though, it's because I'm in love with what's become of the Kid Icarus franchise.

Ninja Gaiden 3 is devoid of the confidence that guided its predecessors, and has ceded any authority the franchise still retained in the action genre. Though the constant quicktime sequences don't add anything to the game, and the desperate attempts to add a cinematic flair are distracting at best, the attempt at broadening Ninja Gaiden 3's appeal isn't the problem.

There's no rock. There's no hard place. Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City isn't caught between anything — it's buried under countless poor decisions and technical problems. Even worse, one of the areas of Resident Evil's fiction ripest for exploration has been soured by a game that I can't recommend to anyone. An insult to Resident Evil fans, a failure at the most basic level for shooter fans, and a possible friendship-ender for those looking for a cooperative experience, Raccoon City is a disaster zone better left abandoned.

Shoot Many Robots doesn't try to be everything. It aims to be an arcade co-op shooter with hooks, and those hooks are sharp as hell thanks to some clever writing and thoughtful, diabolical loot design. That narrow ambition pays off in a game that might sound like a side-scrolling Borderlands clone on paper, but stakes out territory all its own in practice. If you can get some friends together, Shoot Many Robots is a perfect way to spend a weekend or two, traipsing through robot corpses in your prettiest propeller beanie and tutu.