Nintendo EPD · Mar 3, 2017
Zelda, the franchise where every section is brought to life by amazing songs and a game vibe that is often led by those songs. No not here. Zelda the game known for its large dungeons full of fun puzzles. Well they did it a little bit different. They said I've made one dungeon here and I can't be bothered making another, so I'll just blow this one in to pieces and scatter them miles apart and rename them as something other than dungeons in hope you don't notice the total laziness in design. Woah, you got me. Never noticed the dungeons went down to two rooms. Then the walking and walking and gliding and walking and eventually after a long slow boring haul actually getting somewhere, someone sends me back off where I'd just spent forever coming from on an errand. The graphics, I love Studio Ghibli, I love Valkyria Chronicles. I don't love their lovechild with a gene deficiency. Hazy and undefined pastel colours painting an empty world. Lets not forget the joy of climbing a mountain at the speed of a chain smoking toddler and just when you're about to touch the top you suddenly have no stamina and slide all the way back down and completely wasted your time. In fact it's fair to say our green super hero has less stamina than a chain smoking toddler. So to sum up. Hazy graphics, OST removed, fetch questy, badly paced, huge and empty, void of much at all, especially dungeons, terrible voice acting. It goes on and on but just like the game, I'll leave my review feeling unfinished, lazy and effortless. BotW is like taking Ubisofts worst game and slapping a Zelda skin on it. The people rating this game a 10 need their heads seeing to. As you can see I played this for Switch and WiiU. That's because I played on WiiU and hated it. I tried it again because I thought they can't possibly make Zelda that bad that has 10/10 reviews, I must have missed something, so I bought it again on Switch. No, I was right first time, it's just a shockingly bad game that everyone seems to completely overlook every single flaw and the game is nothing but flaws. It's an insult to the Zelda name. A shoddy, funless, lazy walkathon. As per title - absolute rubbish.
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